Not easy, but useful: Accept what is

How ‘Radical Acceptance’ helped

22. March 2022
2 Min.
Kategorien: All | Logbook
Categories: All | Logbook
2 Min. It happened this week - and I'd like to share it. Maybe it's of value to you. I am only writing this because the person concerned replied: "Pretty good advice, it actually helped me." (Note: I apply 'xxx' for anonymisation reasons)

In a business conversation with several people I work with, one person, whom I hold in high esteem both personally and professionally, said: “… and I am busy hating this!”

‘Busy hating’, holy moly, never heard that before.

I noticed, the person was taken in by the very disturbing feeling of hate – and definitely in a bad mood.

A couple of minutes later, alone at my desk, I grabbed my keyboard and wrote:

Hey, xxx, if I may intervene for a second … ‘busy hating’ … is only human.

I might have an idea that might fit better to you (and it helped me, however, I’m still far away from mastering).

There is a concept called ‘Radical Acceptance’. It says, the world … IS … EXACTLY … as it is presented to you right at this very moment.

In your case, xxx happened.

That is the fact. The truth. The ultimate present here and now.

When you fully accept this, you don’t have a problem at all. No disturbing feeling. No stress, hate, whatever.

Stress, disturbing feelings only emerge, when your expectation differs from what’s been presented to you.

What then happens is, that your consciousness, your mind MELTS with that emotion – and you react out of that emotion.

Radical Acceptance instead could run like this: “Well, the xxx does not work. Ok, got it. Close your eyes. Deep breath. Become conscious in the moment. This is life AS IT IS.”

This thought will only take 10-15 seconds.

You remain calm (and calmer after a bit of training) and don’t fall back into automatic programs, that run ‘the good old drama’.

Many wise people have habituated Radical Acceptance – maybe soon there is one more.

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