Avoid avoidance

Learn how to use this hidden superpower

17. February 2023
3 Min.
Kategorien: All | Logbook
Categories: All | Logbook
3 Min. You have it. You hate it. You try to avoid it at all costs. It's fear. Wait a moment, please. Don't just click away. You might think: 'Oh no, not now, not with me.' That's totally ok - that's just your well-programmed reaction. But you do not learn anything. You just nurture your fear - instead of dissolving it - and becoming a better person. Allow me a few minutes to explain along 3 points: How can you use fear as an almost inexhaustible source of power.

1. Fear is stronger than you

Let’s start with ‘what is’.

Let’s assume you have stage fright (or just take your ‘favorite’ fear): You have to give a speech.

You feel your pounding heart, wet hands, and wet forehead.

Fact: Fear feels bad. Threatening. Paralyzing. You cannot make it go away. It’s stronger than you. You don’t have control.

First step: Fully & radically accept that you have fear.

2. You are born with only two fears

    These are fear of falling and fear of noises. All the other fears are culturally learned. From peers, parents, other people, bad past expe.

    Fact: Everything you learned, you can unlearn. Hence, you can unlearn fear. This is a biological, neurophysiological process. You cannot help but dissolve fear. If you consequently decide to do so.

    Second step: Decide rationally and emotionally: “There is a way out of my fear. I can make it go away.”

    3. Climb the ladder

      Back to stage fright (as a stand-in of your ‘favorite fear’): Start with the lowest dose possible: Speak in front of a mirror. Then give a speech to your pet toys (the world-renowned author Tim Ferriss did so to overcome his stage fright). Then talk to chicken or your dog, cat. Then to an entrusted person.

      Climb the ladder. But climb it step by step. Celebrate each step! And move on.

      Later you will find out, that fear has truly dissolved.

      Fact: The process of ‘step-wise desensitization’ is a well-proven almost bullet-proof method to dissolve fear. I ran through it several times. And will continue to do so. It’s one of the best tools you can put in your personal toolbox.

      Third step: Decide to become the hero of your own life’s journey. Walk the path. Set out on this journey. Take the first step. Today!

      Final thoughts

        In a world of quick wins, endless scrollable pages, and permanent distraction – it becomes even harder to face the truth:

        The best and most valuable things in your life cost time, effort, and pain.

        I fully and sincerely recommend:

        1. Radically accept your fears.
        2. Decide for yourself, that there is a way out of fear.
        3. Set out today. Take the very first, very small step in that direction. Do not stop until you have dissolved fear.

        What do you mean?

        Discuss with us on LinkedIn

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